Hacker News Reader

Comment by thucydidesofusa | Hacker News Reader

It's funny how that works. I heard one man say to a woman that he didn't schedule a meeting for a particular time because he saw that she had a conflicting meeting.

Later that same woman described (to another woman) that the man had been "creeping on her calendar". If it weren't for society's deference to women's feelings, that would probably be read as a hostile comment.

View on HN

Isn't checking attendees' schedules for conflicts standard procedure when scheduling meetings?

It's standard procedure but also a transgression against this woman if a man does it and isn't sufficiently attractive.

There's definitely a bit of a double standard here. I overhear comments like this fairly regularly. It's just normal and accepted behavior. (I wouldn't go as far as to say society generally has "deference to women's feelings", though.)

A sizable fraction of restraining orders are granted on women's feelings. And look at conversations around the social relations of men and women - women have rights and men have responsibilities. Women get to abort fetuses and unilaterally give children up for adoption, men get locked up if they dont pay child support.

If you're a man go into public with a woman and get her to cry. Measure how long it takes until someone angrily asks you "what did you do".

Haha crying is a great emotional hack. Most people are helplessly vulnerable to it. Over the weekend I was swimming with the family. We hadn't seen any neighbors all day. My brother threw his son into the pool, surprising him enough that he started crying. In 2 seconds, multiple neighbors were out on their lanai, staring suspiciously at the carnage down at the pool.

I don't know why you're downvoted. My 4 year old niece cries all the time if she thinks it will help her get her way. The crying stops on a dime as soon as she realizes it isn't working.

The downvotes, now mostly corrected, were probably from people who don't spend much time around children. When they hear crying, it must be that of an adult woman [0]. Therefore it signifies something very important. Or maybe their brains are just easily hacked. Few people want to consider that latter possibility.

[0] adult men also cry, but when they do so in public it is usually interpreted in radically different fashion...

Reply on news.ycombinator.com