We will add sites to the white list as we go.
Just to be clear, at a certain age I will give her full access.
While I'd prefer they limit their porn access as a teenager, plenty of well adjusted people didn't and came out fine. I am far more concerned about "sexting" (and having it shared around at school/used to bully), and authorities trying to prosecute underage kids for having pictures of their own (and their love interest's) bodies on a device they own.
The whole "porn is a public health emergency" thing is largely bullshit. Unhealthy attitudes to sex and an overreaction by authority figures might be a "health emergency" though.
Particularly as a lot of parents will happily let teenagers watch people get blown apart in movies and on TV, but suddenly two people lovingly touching each other naked is just a step too far! It is hypocritical. Particularly with shows like GoT that they're going to watch because everyone else is (and we are).
Contraception should be a conversation you have with, approximately, a six year old, when they ask you how babies are made exactly, and why they were born (it’s not just “your parents had sex”, it’s “your parents stopped using contraception” that caused you to be born).
Safe sex, as in, “STIs exist, be cautious but not terrified”, and “intimate partner violence exists, don’t stand for or create cruelty or boundary crossing in intimate relationships” is a conversation for eight or nine year olds.
Young children aren’t yet embarrassed about their bodies or your body, it is much easier (and healthier for all concerned) to get open, loving, accurate information about sex and relationships at the moment it’s requested, well before puberty. Before and during puberty, when the urge to separate from parents is beginning and body shame frequently begins to set in, is a much worse time to have such conversations.
This is a terribly depressing world view I realize. I'm more or less convinced that there's nothing I can do to stop screwing up my kid. My one hope is that my wife is pretty competent and luckily enough to the degree that she's not I think I compliment her. We'll see.