How did you end up getting properly diagnosed for Bipolar disorder? I'm currently taking antidepressants after battling SOME kind of mental illness for most of my adult life. I'm really inside my head, and often have very existential, self-doubting moods, to the point where I have burned a lot of bridges (jobs, friends, relationships) with antisocial behaviour (that I would never logically think is the right thing to do), but in the right mood, having also tried MDMA, I act completely normal, can hold conversations, etc. (but that's once in a blue moon normally).