Hacker News Reader

Comment by azernik | Hacker News Reader

Interesting - I have bipolar too (that is, bipolar II), also misdiagnosed as pure depression for a while. However, the SSRI didn't flatten my affect, but instead amplified my hypomania to where it was severe enough to be diagnosed. Now I'm on lamotrigine and sertraline, and the two together keep me stable and up.

View on HN

Hmmm. I suppose that I was hypermanic. And maybe it wasn't so much that I was affectless, but that it wasn't appropriate affect.

OK, for example, I would be driving, in a hurry. And without much emotion or warning, I'd find myself running red lights and whatever. Laughing. I remember an accident, where the other driver said something like "Where the hell did you come from?" And I almost said something like "God sent me to kill you!" But I didn't, fortunately.

That SSRI truly made me a danger to society and myself.

Ooooh. Yeah, that's definitely full-blown mania. Delusions of grandeur, risk-seeking behavior, euphoria.

Well, there really wasn't much euphoria, as I recall. More stoic cynicism.

I like to say a little on the manic side. I feel more alive. But not too much, because it's bad for me. Now I can just be happy and energetic.

How did you end up getting properly diagnosed for Bipolar disorder? I'm currently taking antidepressants after battling SOME kind of mental illness for most of my adult life. I'm really inside my head, and often have very existential, self-doubting moods, to the point where I have burned a lot of bridges (jobs, friends, relationships) with antisocial behaviour (that I would never logically think is the right thing to do), but in the right mood, having also tried MDMA, I act completely normal, can hold conversations, etc. (but that's once in a blue moon normally).

I found a psychiatrist who asked me whether amphetamines made me happy or nervous. I said happy. He said bipolar.

I was in weekly talk therapy with a psychologist and checking up with a psychiatrist every few weeks to fine-tune my meds, the two were in close contact, and one of them (don't remember which) picked up on my periodic euphoria and social extroversion.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com