Being deliberate in what you read to them and when doesn't preclude also giving them love, food, shelter, space and everything else you listed. If there's a significant difference to be realized by adopting these reading habits (I'm not saying there is) one could argue you're ethically obligated to do so. In the same way that not supplying your child with a balanced diet could be considered negligent.
The experimental results were that reading books with named characters resulted in increased attention to those characters. Is paying more attention to storybook characters a skill you want your child to develop? Maybe? What if further research showed that those same infants showed less attention to their parents? Or that they had stronger verbal skills, but weaker mathematical skills? Would you still consider this "the best" for your child? (These actually would be interesting follow-up studies to do, but I doubt any parent would be able to consider all the relevant results together.)
My dad very much wanted "the best" for me, and as a nuclear chemist, he taught me math and science from a very early age. I got some leverage out of the math skills, but this generation happens to be a singularly shitty time to be a scientist, and it turns out that for skills that are valued by the market at this point in history (selling software, for example), things like emotional intelligence and social skills are actually quite a bit more helpful. Being a math prodigy is far less valuable than knowing when someone's trying to take advantage of you, but I suspect the former is desired by a lot more parents.
Many times, experience or external fomo/fud from the environment point towards something that is no longer as optimized as while this experience or viewpoint has been coagulating. Parents should be aware of that.
Children also need parents that are confident in their parenting skills. Parenting is something you do 100% of the time. Being insecure because of a constant barrage of scientific studies micro-correcting your skills will harm your child’s upbringing.
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. Don’t judge parents who read every day, but maybe not the scientifically perfect book. Judge the parent that never reads at all.
When I was younger my parents gave me a lot of space to explore things I’m interested in, not like most of the folks I know in my folks’ social circle. The problem is when I was younger (middle/high school) I really did not have the discipline to explore my interests fully in a way that would appeal to admissions committees and learned very little about a wide range of subjects that aren’t particularly useful - I wasted at least 5 years of my adolescence like this. Overall it wasn’t bad but I feel like I would have been better off had I been given (and more importantly requested/accepted) more guidance with regard to career and educational/learning opportunities. By the time I got to college I was years behind my peers at top institutions, honestly not sure if I can catch up.
... is a race to the bottom.
I do have sympathy for the position of coveting others financial success, I struggle with that a lot; but I had a highly structured education and was very successful in compulsory education.
You are mixing up money with success. I do think you know some successful people, you just not realising, who they are.
My friends are successful because they have time. I am stuck working 60 hours a week to make sure I can provide for my family. My counterparts, all with this structured background, work tiny amounts of hours and have 3x as much moneys as I do.
One of my biggest failures is the lack of structure bled into my studies when I needed my studies to propel me forward. These kids did all the same fun things as me, but played a couple less video games (experiences I have forgotten) and took far less time reading Digg.com and Reddit (Yet know just as much as I do about news).
Now, they have propelled so far ahead because the additional time they have has given them it. They get to spend more time with their children. They get to watch every soccer game. They own boats, live on lakes, and spend 6-10 weeks a year vacationing. I can barely vacation because I neither have the time or the money to be able to do so.
Exactly, I have the same regret
I could see of difference between the two of us, because of the huge difference in schooling & educational curricula. He may turn out to be a fantastic Engineer. Have a lot of catching up to do.
You always want the best for your children and often you have to remind yourself that maybe the best is just doing less.
In hindsight I now am surprised what my parents let me do on my own at very young age. Imagining giving my son this degree of freedom is a little scary I have to admit but I will try my best.
I am also a strong believer that happiness and success are very loosely connected at best.
Similarly, around the camp fire, "that's hot, it'll burn you [signs for hot and sore-hand]" but he, 16mo, was determined not to keep his hand away from the fire. A minor burn hurts like billy-o, but next time I know he'll keep his hands back from the fire!