Hacker News Reader

I'm 30 and I have no regrets yet but the pressure is quite annoying...I guess that some people just want kinds, some don't and some want when it's too late. I hope I won't change my mind...

View on HN

Pressure from family? Friends? Is this more keenly felt by women v men do you think?

First is the pressure from my partner(she is very much into having children), then the family and then there is the fact that most of my friends have kinds or at least are looking to have kids. When I meet old friends I find that most of them married and have kids too...you are told now it's the time to have kinds and later you will regret it. You won't be able to have kinds anymore(due biological issues) or you will be more like an grandpa than a father to them. I can understand their arguments but I have no desire to have children(yet).

The impression I get is that women are more expected to want children, so not wanting them is seen as more transgressive. Additionally, women have a shorter timeframe in which to have children, so the pressure intensifies after age 30 in a way that it may not for men.

However, parents want grandchildren from their male and female children equally, and pressure from friends is applied to a couple as a couple, not as individuals.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com