Throw them all out like the trash they are. It is so fucking stupid how we human beings have to insert our stupid thoughts and desires into everything. You'll never get rid of aggressive behavior because once people start intuitively judging people, especially over those they think are below them, it is impossible to get them to stop.
And jesus has nobody learned to not shit where you eat? Save it for Tinder.
Thus even the men who are aware of the presence of bad actors are sometimes blind to how many of them there are, just how horrible their actions are, and more importantly who the bad actors are.
And because of this, a) it's harder to grasp the extent and severity of the problem; b) they may not know whose behavior needs to be corrected; and c) they may rationalize or deny a bad actor's misbehavior when someone does point it out because their experiences with him have been positive, so the accusation causes cognitive dissonance.
Some does. Others don't. In my experience it is very common for privileged folks who feel that they are of lower status to try to exert some (generally undue) authority or dominance in group settings, usually by ha-ha-only-serious'ing nasty jokes at people who they feel that can be superior towards. Women, ESL folks, ethnic minorities--you get the idea. And the article makes mention of this--calling another employee "token", that sort of thing.
On the other end of the ladder, I've tangled with quite a few people in managerial and executive roles that thought that their, again, ha-ha-only-serious racism and sexism was somehow Not A Problem.
It's not just that it's pervasive--it's that we've allowed, for a very long time, the sorts of social shittiness that are sometimes termed "microaggressions" to set the tone for the social arrangements (and work is a social arrangement) in which we all participate with varying degrees of willingness and autonomy. The little stuff in public creates permission structures for the big nasty stuff in private.
This. And as a man I am sick of it. I want nothing but the best for the women in my life, and the powerlessness of this situation makes me angry. We men are stubborn motherfuckers and it is rare for to meet someone like what is described in the post and also who seems ready/willing/able to changeinto treating others respectfully. Hence the trash bit -- just fucking throw them out.
So many of us want to get back to solving relevant problems. Interpersonal shit like this keeps coming up in our community and it needs to just. fucking. stop.
With respect: digging out from beneath literal millenia of unjust treatment (I mean, this behavior didn't start when we decided women were allowed to have jobs) is probably a relevant problem for decent humans in general.
So what people learn is that they can get away with it, because usually they do. Not only can they get away with it, but dozens will leap to their defense. Watch how this thread unfolds, and compare them to previous ones. Look at the eagerness with which any suggestion that women are less suited for STEM than men is gobbled up and reposted to death. After a while people realize that STEM is full of people who use their brains to make disingenuous arguments to cover their ideological asses.
Edit: ...And now you’ve been flagged to death, meaning 10+ people flagged you in 10 minutes or less. I’m not even a little surprised.
And yet another dozen will opine about how there are no such inherent differences, a far more evidence-free assertion.
Oh look, it’s back again and already has 6 points. lol
https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=16506914
Jesus Christ.
I try to tell myself that a lot of the predictable, negative outcomes amount to blowback in the face of real and inevitable change though. I hope I’m right about that too.
I commented on the other thread to give you props. For what it's worth.
Of course I got flagged. That's how the passive-aggressive asshole brigade fights back