Comment by ZenoArrow | Hacker News Reader

Comment by ZenoArrow | Hacker News Reader

Parent Full thread

Speaking personally, I'm frequently running late for events, but it has nothing to do with being inconsiderate, as I tend to be reasonably considerate in other ways. It's also a family trait, which is something we joke about, and my family includes some of the most considerate people I've ever met.

I get that waiting around doing nothing is annoying, but it doesn't have to be that way. For example, if I'm meeting up with some friends to go out, I'd much rather meet them in a pub rather than meet them at a bus or train station. That way their evening can start without me.

I'd also happily live somewhere with other people that don't put a high value on punctuality. As an example, I've heard in Costa Rica they have cultural trait of running on "tico time". I've only ever met a couple of people from Costa Rica before, so I can't say how common this is, but what I can say is that I'd not be offended by it, and I'd hope it was something we would all be a bit more laid back about than where I currently live.

But then why set a meeting time? Tell them you'll meet them in the evening maybe, but no promises. Then everyone has the same expectation.

It just seems stupid to make an agreement that you know you won't keep.

> "But then why set a meeting time? Tell them you'll meet them in the evening maybe, but no promises. Then everyone has the same expectation."

If people accepted that answer, that'd be fine, but by and large they don't/won't.

> "It just seems stupid to make an agreement that you know you won't keep."

You don't always know ahead of time. If you arrange to meet at 7pm and arrive at 7:05pm, predicting that far in advance is quite tricky. Perhaps you fully intended to be on time, but underestimated some part of the journey getting there.

I lived in Roatan and there is a notion of “island time” you hear flying out of every lazy white mouth who is trying to sound hyper-local, but most people I met that grew up there, that work there and make plans with friends there - they tend to be pretty respectfully on-time.

Nice stereotype though!

> "Nice stereotype though!"

If you don't like the example I gave, you can have another example, looking at Ikaria:

http://www.bbc.com/travel/story/20171116-the-greek-island-wi...

Quoting the article (note this was said by a Greek person, not an expat):

"Retired doctor Christodoulos Xenakis has another theory about how Ikarians avoid unnecessary anxiety. We met briefly during my first hour on the island and we had agreed to meet again, though tracking him down wasn’t easy.

“No-one really sets appointments here,” he shrugged when I greeted the 81 year old – who is considered a young man by Ikaria standards – a few days later in the village. Time is an important part of life on Ikaria, Xenakis explained, but not the way most people think. “It’s more like ‘see you in the morning, afternoon or evening’. We don’t stress.”"

Sounds like he always eats his food cold when he shows up at dinner parties.

My family are chronically late for things, and yet I manage to be on time. By saying that you should meet at a pub/are vefore you get a train, you’re saying “why don’t you all meet an hour earlier than we need to so I can be late”. Sure sometimes it’s fine, but having to accommodate one person in a group being chronically late is selfish on their part.

> "having to accommodate one person in a group being chronically late is selfish on their part"

That's not what's happening. If I'm running late I'm supposedly missing out too, by missing out on spending time with friends. What part of that is selfish? If I arrange to meet somewhere where they can start enjoying their evening, the only person that misses out is me.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com