Comment by 3131s | Hacker News Reader

Comment by 3131s | Hacker News Reader

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I am an American living outside the US for ~5 years. It's become very difficult to plan for the future now that I am in a permanent relationship with a non-US citizen (we would be married already if not for the various complications associated with being different nationalities). Especially since she is from a so-called "shithole" country, one of the poorest on earth, we have doubts about whether it's even worth ever trying to go back to the US longterm. What if we do everything right, go through the green card process, and then suddenly green cards just no longer exist? That statement might have sounded crazy 10 years ago, but can anybody really assure me otherwise now?

I know 10+ people who are educated, hard-working, and have every qualification yet are denied a simple tourist visa to the US for whatever reason. The process is lengthy, costs a decent amount of money, consists of filling out ridiculous forms on antiquated websites and attaining sponsors from the US, and then results in a 5 minute interview where some prick essentially makes a snap judgement about the candidate. We got lucky once with the tourist visa process, but that was pre-Trump.

The US is an utter embarrassment, and if it weren't for my family still being there, I wouldn't really care much about never going back.

I went through this process in 2015-2016 after my fiancee was turned away while we were entering the US in PHL (they said she had already spent too much time with me there). We went back to Spain where she's from and started the 4+ month long process of getting her a K-1 fiancee visa.

It is a lot of reading, a lot of forms, and nerve-wracking interviews so I understand where you're coming from. But now she has a green card and it's a huge weight off our chests, great to be able to live a normal life. No one is coming for legal permanent residents, especially by marriage.

Almost everyone we interacted with along the way (except for the border control at PHL) was pretty friendly and just doing their job. No one seemed to have an axe to grind against immigrants.

The best resource I found was VisaJourney which has guides, timelines, useful forums, crowd-sourced processing times, etc.

I'm sure you'll find other users there from your partner's country so you can get a feel for what the process is like from a relevant perspective.

Here is the process/timeline for a fiancee visa: http://www.visajourney.com/content/k1flow

Happy to help if you have any questions

The immigration system is horribly broken. My wife, too, is an immigrant, and our experience is vastly different from yours.

For example, they scheduled her for an interview on a date that was impossible for her to make (iirc, that was her first day of a new job). She went to the INS offices to ask to have it rescheduled, and the person at the desk just gave her a flat "no, we do not reschedule interviews". My wife asked to speak to a manager - something that's eminently reasonable, if maybe slightly annoying, at any business - at which point the INS employee bushed a button that summoned to burly guards to physically remove her from the premises, stating that she was a threat to the office's security.

As an immigrant, I wouldn't expect them to make adjustments for my schedule. It's unfortunate that you went through this, but for most people priorities are different.

> As an immigrant, I wouldn't expect them to make adjustments for my schedule.

Your desire not to be a burden is laudable, but there's a more-important principle at stake here. Government officials should always make an effort to accommodate reasonable requests, or if that's not possible, to explain why — and moreover, those officials, as representatives of this country and its citizens (including me), should damned well be at least that welcoming and courteous to a visitor or new resident such as the GP's wife. Assuming that the GP was accurately telling the whole story, every American should be thoroughly embarrassed that the GP's wife was treated so abysmally, and the officials responsible should be disciplined.

> Your desire not to be a burden is laudable, ...

That's not what I said. I don't try not to be a burden, I just don't expect consular officials to give a shit about my schedule, and set my priorities based on that. Sure they should be welcoming and all, but it is what it is.

Wouldn’t an immigration interview trump any other reaponsibility a person has? I’d explain to my boss the situation and see if I can get my day switched way before I’d expect any government agency to shuffle things around for my work schedule (especially any agency that’s immigration related).

I'm sure it would if the conflict cannot be resolved, i.e. both the immigration officials and the boss are unwilling to accommodate the other requirement. Missing one's first day of work generally looks bad though, and trying to avoid that if possible is reasonable.

Attempting to reschedule an immigration interview doesn't strike me as unreasonable, nor does escalating to a supervisor if you don't like the answer you got. The employee calling security, on the other hand strikes me as abusive. I think that employee should be fired and probably not given a position of authority where they can mistreat others that way again in the future.

I agree that the latter part sounds very excessive, but I still can't understand how protecting one's legal status in the country they are in wouldn't far and away be the most important thing on their calendar.

Given how long everything takes when dealing with immigration, it's not exactly surprising that they aren't able to accommodate people's schedules.

Attempting to schedule something in a way that minimizes conflicts doesn't necessarily imply that it's not the most important thing on the schedule.

> Given how long everything takes when dealing with immigration, it's not exactly surprising that they aren't able to accommodate people's schedules.

If things take a long time, it shouldn't make much difference to them whether they do an interview this week or next. It's surprising that everything takes a long time though, from a certain point of view anyway.

I'm not sure why you'd think that the convenience of a government agency should outweigh any other concerns.

Because they are a government agency that’s notorious for having rigid rules and moving slowly. I’m not defending their behavior, but that is the way it is - it’s not exactly surprising or shocking that they weren’t willing to budge on that.

You should talk with your local US embassy or consulate. They can provide whatever help to clear up the process for your partner. If they are doing their job, they can greatly simplify everything. Please do not confuse the local state dept people with the shenanigans from the people at the White House...

The visa process is relative straightforward. Will the person who is given the visa come back to the country of origin? This is determined by money more often than not, and it's the harsh reality of the situation.

Since 9/11 the US is like a bull in a china shop, stung by a bee. I only go back once a year to visit my family now too.

Similar situation here, although I'm in country #2 (if you know the political-comedy reference).

The US has many natural wonders, and it has a lot of quite good people. But the political system is so out of whack that it makes me want to stay away for a very long time.

Furthermore, having to deal with US taxes while living and working abroad is really a hassle. True, one doesn't typically owe any US tax money if paying a higher rate elsewhere, but filing is still required. And filing can be messy if your life is not the standard simple permanent employment situation.

I have a friend who's a US citizen who was living in Venezuela for a while, and he got married to a Venezuelan gal there about 5 years ago. They'd been working on moving back to/to the US for most of that 5 years and finally got here about 2-3 months ago. I believe that both the US and Venezuelan governments gave them a bit of run-around, but it did all work out eventually.

Why wouldn't you sponsor her for a K visa?

If it's not too personal / I'm curious, where do you live?

Apropos of anything else, my arrival in the US from Australia (as a K-1) has cost over the years, at last count, coming up on $25,000...

Jesus, why? I think my K-1 (originally from Canada) cost something like $5,000, maybe $6,000 total. I guess plane fares and hotels might play into it, since I can cross by land.

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