https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uncanny_valley
To make things worse, the startup life is so seductive and demanding that it excludes a lot of other potentially rewarding life choices which the author's peers enjoy. The author feels that startup workers are victims of operant conditioning and lack real independent agency in their lives.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operant_conditioning
It's been pointed out that unpredictable rewards really screw up brains, causing them to obsess over the payout despite the overall returns being low. The author feels that startups and gambling have a lot in common.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compulsion_loop
In the author's case, the conditioning is so strong that, when she thinks back on her experience with the startup, she's still seeing herself as part of it even three years later and she still feels the same compulsion.