>It's not exactly wrong, but it's way too anthropomorphic and attributes way too much intent.

This made me start wondering something... at what point can something be attributed to intent? When did the first intent arise? If humans are blobs of matter following the laws of physics, why can we possess intent when nature cannot? What is the simplest process which can have intent?

This is probably just a restatement of an existing problem like where does intelligence come from. Just a random though I had reading your post.