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"I wish I would understand even a fraction of the stuff that's going on with software synths." -- May I suggest trying syntorial[https://www.syntorial.com/]

If you want to create music without fiddling with UI you could also look into -- Sonic Pi[http://sonic-pi.net/] or Overtone[http://overtone.github.io/]

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I just started and Syntorial is amazing! The teacher is very talented and the App you use to learn (which he built with funding from a kickstarter) is very good. The demo comes with 22 lessons and I am a lot more confident with creating and re-creating sounds by ear in my DAW.

I plan on purchasing it but I'm waiting for the "hey you haven't signed up yet so here's a discount" email to come because their marketing strategy is very familiar.

Syntorial, while not cheap, is an amazing tutorial.

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