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Somebody should strap on some machine learning to this. It would be so much more effective - and probably funnier! Spamnesty ICO / kickstarter maybe?

Dear Sir/Madam, I am an early adopter of bitcoins with 10000 bitcoins in my wallet...

why be so modest I am Satoshi Nakamoto creator of bitcoin

Actually, I might as well do an ICO. Does anyone know how to do one? I'm going to put various perks in, such as customized spam to all investors.

(I made Spamnesty)