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Thanks for your time. That's interesting. I guess this might be a little more nuanced than I thought.

So, despite the fact that the company would be a Canadian entity, I would be considered self-employed. Would a simple workaround be enough to thwart this, such as having a friend own the business, and proceed to hire me as a remote employee?

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Not OP, but there's two concepts you're confusing: Residency and Tax Residency. Tax residency, for mortals, is normally where you live and work, so for you, even with the Canadian company, it'll probably be the US.

If I pay American taxes and not Canadian taxes, that's fine. A bit unfortunate because the bracket I'll be in is higher as is the tax rate, but not the end of the world.

The only real obstruction I'm worried about is the legality of doing that work for money. I have some friends who I could employ too, and lots of cash could just sit with the company, but if I can't work for that entity (legally) there's no point in starting it.

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