Passion isn't necessary, but why bother being in a close relationship with another person if you're not even going to learn what it is that they spend their time working on?
Issues with programmer ego aside, how is this any different from suggesting that your husband is a doctor without saying he is a pediatrician, a lawyer without saying he specializes in tax law, or a pilot without mentioning that he flies F-16C's?
but why bother being in a close relationship with another person if you're not even going to learn what it is that they spend their time working on?
For the same reason that you have no idea what this year's hot brand of shoes is: it's not a common interest.
Now, not having ANYTHING in common isn't exactly promising. However suggesting that this particular passion is more important than others - simply because you happen to share it - isn't exactly insightful.
I don't know anyone who spends that much time thinking about shoes.
1. People are their professions, fundamentally.
2. You would have an issue with me not knowing the shoe answer if my wife worked for a shoe designer.
I take issue with both statements.
I would say: If you were lucky enough to grow up with good enough opportunities (education particularly) that mean you don't have to take whatever job you can get, then you owe it to yourself to find a job that you can be passionate about - after all, you're probably going to spend at least 40 hours a week doing it!
Given the assumption that two people in a serious relationship are this lucky, and so have full time jobs that they are passionate about, then yes - I do think the relationship would be lacking something fundamental if one partner said "Uh, <job title>? I think my partner does something like that".
It is most certain that partners need to invest something in a relationship, and by default that includes experiencing the partner's passion.
Have you ever thought that the open admission of ignorance disguises the fact that the person is fully aware of the level of expertise that they do no have? In other words: programming is hard - too hard for most to fully appreciate. Being open to this is a basic admission of the fact, not a cast off.
To suggest that these people are off limits because of this is just silly. To suggest it by using an example of partner that is also a programmer even more so.