> I need to nudge them to take the situation seriously and follow the logical consequences that follow if they are married to a borderline.
No you don’t. It’s clear that the poster is already taking it seriously. Personal advice is ok but the tone should be considered more carefully, especially given that you have had negative experiences before (bias.)
> If the wife is the rare borderline who actually cares to get treatment and overcome her BPD...
Sheesh.