Advice is directional, not absolute. Someone isn’t going to divorce their wife just because someone on HN told them to. They’re going to second-guess whether she has BPD and go through mental gymnastics, possibly for years, to avoid doing that.

If I’m going to give someone a nudge, I don’t need to nudge them to do that second guessing. They’re going to do that anyway. I need to nudge them to take the situation seriously and follow the logical consequences that follow if they are married to a borderline. If the wife is the rare borderline who actually cares to get treatment and overcome her BPD, I know that this guy is going to give her that second or third or nth chance because that’s exactly what I would have done in his place.