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Why don't you catch-all subdomains in your web server and handle them on application level?

Use wildcard cnames, and have your application handle them internally.

You can even do this for MX records with Linode, thanks to their excellent support staff adding the functionality to their DNS interface when I asked for it. :)

Thanks! Completely overlooked the cname. Was struggling with A records all the while

You can avoid that lag if you host your own stealth master and configure the Linode DNS servers as slaves. Having your domain distributed is just a NOTIFY and an AXFR away.

Couldn't you use wildcard cnames?

If you really need that level of DNS control, you should probably be running DNS yourself. Linode lets you slave their nameservers to your master. So you get all the benefits of geographically distributed nameservers, but all the custom control of your own setup.