You're being sarcastic, but this is a great idea. Let's do it.
But you know whats gonna happen right? Someone will create a “jqif” library that will run same if 10 times (maybe throw in a transpiler) or whatever then we’ll have 10 times slower javascript that fails with 1/10^11 chance.
Js is here to stay unfortunately.
Also if it weren't JS, would it make a difference if the bullshit is created by lisp, java or erlang?
Yes, I know this is a fool's errand. I don't actually expect this to happen.
90% of what I use the web for is static text and video. And I could live without video. :)
A UI markup language could define forms that are "desktop-like" without involving a Turing complete language.
The paradigm of the HTML form with controls and a submit action has not been developed to its full potential, because it was basically derailed by JS.
It could have a lot more widgets, and there could be some standard way they exchange and validate data, without a full-blown client-side programming language.
For instance, say you want the user to pick a date. There could be a standard widget in HTML for doing that that could be dropped into a form, and it could be configured to communicate its value bi-directionally with some other field. (Perhaps like cells in a spreadsheet or that sort of reactive thing.) A rich set of standard widgets with flexible styling and layout, communicating the content of the data model to and from the server. Something like that.