You're right (particularly on the ethics side).
People always seem to think I am talking about ethics. I'm not. I'm just saying "You can't get there from here."
If you want a partner, you need to do certain things that establish that we are in this together and it needs to be designed such that when you both work together, you are both better off for it.
Using people comes back to bite you. You don't need ethics to decide it is stupid and doesn't really work. Pissing on someone tends to come back to bite you exactly when you need someone to have your back. Pressure reveals exactly what you have built and that the foundation is not strong.
I am just trying to make the distinction that I am talking about something more like "the physics of social phenomena." Just because you can't see gravity doesn't mean it can't drag you down. Just because social stuff often seems invisible doesn't mean there isn't something real and substantial behind it (that can be studied, though it is a challenging space).
And it's fine if you want to think of it in terms of ethics. I am just saying that, in my experience, when people start talking about ethics, they often get derailed from practical considerations. That idea often leads to people doing things backwards and having it backfire.
And maybe that won't be the case for you. But, it is a word I tend to be leery of.
Best of luck.
Edit: which is, as far as i know, the best way to deal with it