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Comment by pmoriarty | Hacker News Reader

"How does having social life prevents you from doing what you want and when you want?"

Let's say you want to go to see one movie, but all your friends want to see a different one. Or maybe you don't feel like seeing a movie at all, but your friends are going.

Or there's a party on Friday, but you don't feel like going out. Or maybe you just want to stay home and read a book.

There are countless other situations where you might want to do one thing, but social obligations, situations or friends are pulling you to do something else.

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How is that preventing you from doing what you want to do more than not socializing does?

You're simply being forced to choose between two things you want, because you can't do both. That happens even when you're alone -- or at least, I haven't figured out the correct method of writing in my (paper) journal and taking a shower at the same time. Or taking bong hits while swimming. Or napping while playing video games. Or....

This doesn't sound like you're being prevented from doing what you want, when you want -- you just can't do two things you want at the same time. But this isn't unique to socializing.

(It also sounds like failing to take responsibility for your choices so you don't have to deal with being forced to choose between them and can blame Them for forcing the decision.)

You don’t always have to do whatever your friends want to. Having social life does not mean spending 100% of time satisfying your friend’s desires, most people have social life because it’s what they want, and in periods when they don’t want it - they can stay home and do what they want, while if you don’t have a social life at all - you can’t do that, because most probably you don’t have friends to begin with.

> there's a party on Friday, but you don't feel like going out. Or maybe you just want to stay home and read a book.

"Tonight's an at-home night for me. You guys have fun."

This is why it's beneficial to have multiple circles of friends.

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