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If that is real it's fairly impressive that someone could be so clueless and still work out how to report a PHP bug.

That looks like every single bug report I've ever got.

Occasionally, I wouldn't even get the error message; the report would be something like "Hey Mike, listen, I ran the regression tests against your new patch and they fail. Please fix it, I told the project head the stable API would be ready ASAP. Thank you."

Or rather, the project head expects the stable ABI to be ready ASAP.

He even knows what a stack trace is, according to the "Actual result" part. That is impressive. I sense someone new to the internet.

The error that shows up on the page actually has stack trace written on top of it.

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