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> periodically dies for no _good_ reason

You must be doing something wrong then. I run a Jenkins cluster with hundreds of automated pipeline build/deploy jobs and the master node never dies. (It's also the only node up and running 24/7) You should be offloading your work to build agents.

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I’m certain there is a reason, we scaled up and hired an infra team that owns it so it’s out of my domain now.

I was merely a poor steward in the early days out of necessity. My era of tinkering ended once we moved to CircleCI.

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