Some of what I've written here might seem to be the "It's not so bad..." sort of stupidity that abounds. ("It's not so bad, you don't live in a third world country. That's worse than everything you've experienced!") Nothing I've written here is intended that way, and I've re-written it to try and avoid that impression, so please don't read it like that.
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What she did to you was abuse. The sooner you understand that, the sooner you can start healing. I don't give a damn about what happened in her life that caused it, because the important thing is that you understand that you were abused.
I think you already do, although maybe not in as many words.
She deliberately destroyed your relationship in the most vindictive and painful way she could. Everything you've mentioned here appears designed to cause you as much pain as possible - and the fact that you're feeling this strongly (or poorly) means she's won this round. I wouldn't have fared any better in your place.
The game isn't over yet, and this round is going to take a lot longer than the first. You've got some win conditions you need to satisfy if you want to come out of this in good shape:
Get help from a suitable abuse counselor. This is the most important thing you can do, because it leads into the rest of your life. Do me a favor, and if you don't find one tonight, find one tomorrow. Don't even think about it, just do it.
Don't allow alcohol (or other drugs) to be your vent. This might sound silly, but take up a hobby well outside your comfort zone. Perhaps painting, singing, ballroom dance, fencing, or sculpting. The more friendly people you can be around, the better off you'll be. Please stay away from alcohol, it's not a crutch and won't help. Go and chat with AA, if you find that you can't. The people at those meetings will be able to support you through that.
Start to give a damn about yourself. Not everyone is out to betray you and hurt you, but this is something you'll have to relearn. Nobody who understands will hold it against you. I wouldn't.
You've been somewhat lucky, believe it or not, in that this happened before you ended up married and with a baby. Don't doubt that I'm horrified by her vindictive actions, or how selfish she was. I've seen first hand what happens when someone lived a similar hell, but got married anyway. I watched my father grow old as he was unable get on with his life after a similar sort of betrayal.
But this is about you. What happened to you was unfair, and a terrible trauma, no doubt about that. Right now please do yourself, your family and friends, your colleagues, and your future wife a favor: get counseling.