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> I wish there were more opportunities to gain those kinds of experiences and the camaraderie without having to do things you are morally opposed to.

I recently joined my local Search and Rescue team. The opportunity popped up at just the right time for me and combines many things that I'm interested in while being of service to my community. The application process was fairly rigorous (under 10% acceptance rate) we then went through intensive training in a wide range of skills before being able to respond to calls. The team has a lot of cool toys, trains to high levels to maintain their certifications, has types of access to areas of the county that the public doesn't, is on call 24/7, and directly deals with the life and safety of individuals and the community at large.

Depending on where you live, your local team might be something for you to look in to.

Many, many communities still rely, at least in part, on volunteer firefighters. I know a number of former military guys that love it--provides that the risk/rush and camaraderie you're looking for. And it ain't a cakewalk.

https://www.volunteerfd.org/become-a-volunteer-firefighter/

Thats a good point, I was thinking about that and first responder. Where I grew up most people are actually served by volunteer fire departments (extremely rural, only the towns have full fire departments and they are low population). Any time there was any kind of fire or medical emergency volunteer firefighters and first responders were always there super fast even if regular emergency services were ~30 minutes away.

My dad was actually a EMS/Paramedic for 20+ years and I think he feels similar about that to his military service. The long periods of boredom (low population rural area) followed by intense life and death situations mimics deployment/combat experience and if you have psychological issues related to wartime experience it can exacerbate it. At the same time, saving lives and helping people are extremely fond memories but when I was growing up I think the job was harder on him than he remembers these days.

I've been thinking more about this lately with the hurricanes, wildfires, earthquakes etc that have been happening. I've been taking CPR/First Aid courses on my own just because I want to but I've been feeling like its not quite scratching the itch since its mostly preventative skills (ie, I hope I don't need it but if I do I have it).

I'll look into it for my area, may I ask if you are doing this professionally or are you part of a volunteer S&R team?

First Aid/CPR are definitely good skills to have! On the medical side, EMT might be the next level certification for you to get. (Here it's one semester at a community college with night/weekend options also available.)

The team I'm on, like most SAR teams, is all volunteer. Except for specialized teams like the one in Yosemite, professional SAR teams are generally under military, Coast Guard, or fire departments.

The big national accreditation organizations are NASAR and MRA.

http://www.nasar.org/ http://mra.org/

As another SAR guy, I'll second this. It's challenging, and not just physically. The cool toys and technical training you mentioned require a degree of analysis and problem solving, as well as getting into the nitty gritty details that many programmers love. There is also a lot of need of technical software types, as GIS becomes ever more prevalent and if you like the challenge of maintaining a network in an office building, try taking it to eleven by doing it in the out of doors.

I'll share for others. My dad served in similar role. They consider themselves silent professionals, and he didn't say much about it. He sent me a link today that one of that crew just got Medal of Honor, I think my dad was proud to see that. I asked him 10 years ago to record his history on video. It took him two years, we never discussed, I just got some DVDs in the mail one day. He said explaining history was hard for him to do, and discussed atheism in the foxhole. He discussed everyone's routines before you drop in - rechecking ammo, puking, praying, napping, nerves. In the end of second DVD he said the most important thing is to keep your sense of humor and be happy which surprised me, I expected grit. He is still really upset about losing one friend overseas. He went to the Wall 15 years ago and broke down and people surrounded him and helped him (apparently happens a lot). I think he graphite-copied his buddy's name. He is normal with stable finances and married 50ish years, now works with abused kids in retirement. Of that military group, most went on to normal lives and you wouldn't be able to pick out of a lineup. One owns a tire shop, one worked in tech, one refuses all contact with military folks and a notoriously shady one became an attorney. They all love the outdoors and meet at a convention once a year.

Hemingway summarized it best, "There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter."

It's hard not to bond over what might be the most difficult task you accomplish with a group of like minded individuals, but it's also impossible to not grapple with the morality of your situation.

Get into climbing, specifically traditional climbing and alpinism. You get everything: danger, fear, awe, overwhelming sensory experiences, deep camaderie and a feeling that you've participated in something both meaningful and meaningless. Trust me, you won't regret it.

While obviously not a substitute for actual military training or experience, I strongly recommend looking into a company called GORUCK [0] and their corresponding events.

GORUCK events range in duration and distance (4-5 hours / 7-10 miles for Light, 10-12 hours / 15-20 miles for Tough, 24+ hours / 40+ miles for Heavy).

> Based on Special Forces training, your class is led from start to finish by a Special Forces Cadre. His job is to test your limits, push you beyond them, and build your class into a team. There are no cash prizes at the finish. All you earn is a 2x3 inch patch and the respect of everyone to your left and right.

I've done 2 GORUCK events (1 Light, 1 Tough). They rank among the most challenging physical and mental experiences in my life. I enjoy testing my limits as well as the comradery of collective suffering amongst the rest of the team as you work together towards a common objective or goal. It has been a great way to meet new friends; I'm planning my 2018 event calendar now.

[0] https://www.goruck.com/the-challenge/

"...he both regrets his participation in the war and is proud of it at the same time..."

I used to hang out frequently with a Viet Nam vet (close-support artillery, not Special Forces, so a different kind of thing of course), and he'd drink heavily and sometimes his war experiences would come out - just anecdotes, nothing horrible. It was just as you describe. I don't think he even really wanted to talk about that stuff, but it left such a strong impression that he was compelled to.

He says a lot of the guys at the VA that he talks to say similar stuff, like no matter what bad things came out of it it was the most exciting time of their lives and in a lot of cases they wouldn't change it, even if they have regrets.

Some people get the positive side of that experience in the Peace Corps. Much of their work in construction and education is like Army Special Forces without guns.

Peace Corps has a higher academic barrier of entry, requiring a four-year degree or certain specific skills.

Much easier to enlist in the armed services, if you're reasonably fit.

I've considered that as well, I feel like my choice of education/career (cs/developer) could end up shoehorning me into some kind of infrastructure/IT/tech related roles but at the same time, do what you are good at? I should take another look at them though, thanks for the suggestion.