Comment by alexanderdmitri | Hacker News Reader

Comment by alexanderdmitri | Hacker News Reader

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alexanderdmitri

I'll try to address each of your questions / points individually.

The quote from me is probably too strongly worded on my part, but I really don't see the added value. You may have made it instrumental to your social life, but my personal opinion is the price is too high. Unfortunately, when the majority of people choose to pay the price, it switches from being a personal choice to being an expected exchange. This is fundamentally about the right to privacy and it's not something a rational person would trade away for something that can (and has been!) achieved without the terrible price tag.

Usually if something provides a high value, like a car, you invest in it so you can see the returns. My qualm is not with the messaging service per say (I take more issue with the mass posts people make about their kids or others without consent, I believe that's wrong and cheapens inter-personal relationships). I mean, you have to realize they take your keyups, they know when you've reworded before sending and they're tying what you might think of as a personal conversation to the valuable profile you're consciously helping them build and capitalize on.

I've been around a lot of people using messenger. I've found using the phone or email somewhat increases the likelihood of something tangible happening (general follow through) as well as thoughtfulness of the replies I receive. Obviously that's anecdotal and the jury's still out. I guess my question is, how can you assert Facebook would help someone's social life?

I'm not debating your happiness with it. I'm just a little surprised your so comfortable using it.

More direct means would include chatting in person, the proverbial snail mail (you got to admit, receiving a letter from someone you respect/love/h[oh]ld dear is great), phone call or text message. Except for the last one, each one contains a ton more social queues than a chat group.

I don't want any physical mails and I never pick up when people call me. That you seem to think this is something everyone loves is telling. We're simply different creatures and that's why I use Facebook and you don't.

We're different creatures in an analogous sense, sure.

I'm simply raising privacy concerns I have and I believe it affects us all. I was disappointed this model did not address it. Invasion of privacy, profiling and tracking are big issues in my opinion and I would be curious to know why you don't think they are worth mentioning.

I do think phone calls, and spoken word in general, are highly effective. You are not helping yourself socially by refusing to speak to people who are calling you and if none of your friends or loved ones call you, there is likely a problem (I don't know your exact circumstances). I also think it's a fair claim that people are much more likely to value a hand-written letter over a chat forum message. You are offering something tangible!

I'm just proposing alternatives to socialization on a platform like FB which really is, I think, hurting natural and more effective means of communication and self presentation. I'm not saying there isn't a good place and use for internet chatting and what-not, those are great social tools too.

Just to repeat, my main point is I don't think we should have our social lives commoditized. I do not think we should be profiled and tracked across the internet. I see this ending very badly. That's all.

I'm not the previous commenter but here my take on it.

> Invasion of privacy, profiling and tracking are big issues in my opinion and I would be curious to know why you don't think they are worth mentioning.

The thing is that they can do it. It's like saying people shouldn't listen to other people conversation in public. Sure it's "wrong" to do it, but you do know it may and will happen. The web is public, I'm not the only one that can your comment here and that's true for Facebook too.

I know what I post on the web, I know what I do on the web and I all consider them the same way I would do ANYTHING in public. I wouldn't share nude picture of me in a mall, at least if I were, I would be pretty sure that it's done in a relatively private means.

> I think, hurting natural and more effective means of communication and self presentation.

How can you declare it's more effective? I can organize events in a central place, way quicker and keep much more people involved in it that in any of the ways you talk about. You may be able to argue that it's not the most private, but that's not why I use Facebook.

> I see this ending very badly.

The good old slippery slope argument. I'm curious, what's the bad ending that you imagine?

I usually like to use this counter-argument over that one: Hitler didn't ever need social media to kill that many jews...

It's easy to manipulate people to hurt their community and go against what it's good for them. All you need is to control their fears. The funny thing your privacy fears is probably just as easy to manipulate. That's maybe what needs to be fixed, way more than anything else, though I would say that teaching people to be conscient of their actions and their impact is even better.

On the topic of snail mail, it really has become more meaningful to send and receive mail when instantaneous communication is so readily available. Even more so when nowadays the only mail I receive is either bills or spam.

Plus, there's something tangible about a letter that gives it so much more charm. Of course, if I need to make plans or need to get a response promptly, I'll most likely use Facebook.

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