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I used Spotify with my Facebook account. When I deactivated the FB account and logged into Spotify, it reactivated the FB account automatically.

I had to create another standalone Spotify account and contact their support to migrate everything from the FB connected account to the new one, otherwise it would keep reactivating the FB account.

You can still use messenger, and I still do because I don't want to stonewall people who only have me on there. I have to say though, it's a god awful UX. The other day I even had an advertisement for Spotify pop up in my messages with a close friend. What the fuck is that?

No.

For third-party app logins I use a friendless FB account under a pseudonym.

FB still knows it's you.

Sure, that's the cost of doing anything with FB. A pseudonym is used to avoid nosy third parties, not Facebook itself.

Less pressure to expose one's self to the psychological pathogen that is the Facebook Timeline.