y'all have been very kind. the productivity tips are very helpful. here's my system:

- sit down at my desk with laptop and phone

- disable wifi on my laptop

- turn my phone face-down on the desk, muted, with wifi/data still on

This lets me check if I have any new messages via my phone, but it is a polling system vs an interrupt system. I have to opt in to check. And I am very aware that using my phone looks and feels less productive, so I try to avoid using it too long.

I've been able to be pretty productive (as an software engineer) with this system. I find that I have to reconnect on my laptop about every 30 minutes to do something or another. Of course, every day varies.