It's happening right now, for me. Burnout feels like having no purchase on life, nothing making sense, no creativity, no joy, just fleeting comforts amid growing and deepening discomfort.

The way I see it, this kind of tiredness can't be met by a good night's sleep. It's a tiredness of the soul.

Sadly, what I have found is that to cope with the tiredness, boredom, stress and loneliness of my 'successful' life, I have turned time and time again to pornography. My use has spiralled and includes really quite violent, and in some cases illegal, stuff. And I have hated myself for it. I don't even enjoy it.

The problem is that the porn addiction itself exacerbated and accelerated the burnout process, and further isolated me.

Now I have decided to take some time out, with friends and well away from any internet connection, to break the cycle and re-sensitize myself. I need to breathe and feel my body again and feel connected to life and other people. In a few days I will be away from the Internet in a beautiful place in nature with good, supportive people to be with me.

And for the first time, I intend to be open and share this struggle and let them know really how dark it has gotten in here.