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I tried this, but Do Not Disturb silences all texts, including those from contacts. Deal breaker for me.

There's an (awkward) way around that with Emergency Bypass:

https://www.imore.com/how-receive-messages-specific-contacts...

I want this to work, but I need Do Not Disturb to silence everything when I'm actually asleep, and there's no way to have it change between those on a schedule.

I only recently figured this out and it's wonderful.