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I'm overlooking the easy "It's easy for me so it's easy for everyone" because I'm interested what phone you use?

You can use an Android phone without a Google account or any Google apps.

You can even install an open-source replacement for the core Play Services Framework that many non-Google apps seem to require.

He hewed it himself out of the finest hardwoods.

Everyone knows you use soft woods for phones.

Only for the software, not for the hardware, duh!

This guy phones