you could -EASILY- define a function of data/voice connectivity
  as throughput to a percent scale.

  "But data and voice have different quality of service criteria
  and blah blah blah!" So make up a function that accounts for this.

Translation: insert magical code here?

You remind me of people who say "Your videogame is so slow, why don't you use multiple cores? Just use threads, you could easily do it."

Practical problems are rarely easily solved.