Clearly it needs the following 3 things:
1. It needs a fake calendar that is randomly populated with meetings.
2. It needs to randomly require that you open Google Hangouts and chat with other users.
3. It needs to send random Slack notifications.
While we're on this, can everyone please post their favorite ridiculous meeting title that is really real? I'll start with a recurring meeting series from last year that was called "mid-sprint calibration".
(We eventually found out Hunt was a person's name).
This was the title of an actual, not cancelled, meeting in Outlook.
(with the random capitalisation of actual)
Not enough to compete with the real deal. Has to have multiple team calendars, so it can support conflicting mandatory meetings so people can bitch at you on Google Hangouts and Slack afterward for missing the ones you didn't attend, even though you'd told everyone in advance that you couldn't make it.
4. Time-sensitive pop-ups: things that force you to act NOW instead of ignoring them.