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Comment by gduncan12 | Hacker News Reader

When these reports about sexual harassment are so vague about what actually happened it does a disservice to everyone. How is anyone supposed to know where the line is between hitting on someone and sexual harassment? Many women like to play hard to get. Many men out there are just plain dumb when it comes to how they show their interest in a woman, not malicious. With more specifics they'd be able to learn what's right and what's not.

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I assume you actually realise why they are vague, but in case you don't: it's polite. Many victims find it humiliating to talk about, and adding details often adds to this humiliation.

In this case many details were published elsewhere already, in enough detail to offer little excuse.

Was the victim(s) identified? If not, then we should be free to talk about the specifics without making any identifications. Again, there's no details to go on here.

Was the victim(s) identified?

Yes, in the other coverage.

Saying "I wasn't sure whether to hire you or hit on you" is fucked up if you're in a position to hire that person.

What the actual fuck.

Perhaps by first developing some level of intimacy & emotional connection in a platonic context, being a supportive whole human being with well-defined/practiced/communicated boundaries, and occasionally having a meta discussion about the relationship to get on the same page?

I don't need specifics since hitting on someone is a suboptimal strategy for connection. If you're just looking to get laid, try it out and let me know how it works for that.

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