* Postgresql and Oracle with skip locked
* MS SQL Server with readpast
* DB2 with skip locked data
If you use MySQL, it's going to be a bit more difficult.
This short screencast was also very helpful https://www.pgcasts.com/episodes/7/skip-locked/
Yes, Oracle's AQ product is built on top of an RDBMS. And yes, early versions of Microsoft's MSMQ used SQL Server. But most dev teams use the database as a shortcut and don't invest the effort in making their hacktastic DB queue work like a real product.
And you use "shortcut" like some kind of negative attribute. Of course they use DB as a shortcut, and they should - it works well and even has additional features (transactions with your primary store) that you wouldn't get with separate queue product.
On the other hand, you can grow solution for those organically over time to fit your needs.
In the end, I'd say they were equally reliable, but from a data analyst's perspective I very much missed the postgres based queue. I think the mechanics inherent to a database solution prompted the original implementers to keep messages around over time vs the mechanics inherent to an MQ solution where they became ephemeral (on the senders side.) Having access to those messages was a treasure trove for troubleshooting and for analytics. That and from a pure cost benefit stance, sending 10-20k messages a day to the ESP definitely didn't necessitate the expensive rearchitecture, as the DB solution was more than capable of handling the load on cheap hardware.