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Comment by badosu | Hacker News Reader

That must feel terrible...

Is this common? Never heard of it.

I have no personal experience of it, but I know people who have. As a result I've read a bit about it. It seems that people in these circumstances can be content with who they are, but the external pressures from society can be overwhelmingly unbearable.

I don't know how common it is, but you can look up the terms "non-binary" and "transgender" and find out more.

Again, personally, I think we should just let people get on with being who they are. Respect them for who they are and the work they do, and just stay the hell out of their personal lives. No business of mine.

Thanks for the thoughts!

In the spaces I frequent, it's becoming more common to introduce onesself by also introducing your preferred gender pronoun. "Hey, I'm Danielle, they/them." "Hi, I'm Mike, he/him." "Hi, I'm Sarah, she/her."

I like doing this because it's one small, simple way of welcoming those who might not otherwise feel accepted.

I haven't met anyone that has said that they consider themselves "non-binary", "transsexual", "transgender", or any of the other subtly different labels that they could use, but part of the current zeitgeist, especially within socially liberal-leaning circles, is to spread awareness of how diverse human sexuality is.

I don't think that there are really solid numbers for how different people identify themselves. The information would have to be self-reported, and since there would still be some social stigma attached in many places, I doubt that a survey would end up being very accurate.

I think you mean gender instead of sexuality. Gender is who you are, sexuality is who you like. (I'm replying to try to help, not to nitpick.)

I think that I meant both, and only wrote one.

It's extremely common on parts of the internet but extremely rare in normal life

I feel like we would've said that about gay people thirty years ago if we'd had the Internet we do today. ' I live with one person who uses "they/them" and have lived with three others, one of whom identified as transgendered (as opposed to "gender queer). At the high school I worked at, we typically had a transgendered population of 1%-5%, but no one who used they/them--just one who used he/him/his and several that used she/her/hers. I think I've known more transgendered people than I've known CMU, Harvard, Stanford, and MIT grads combined, despite working in a tech startup and being the son of two CMU grads.

Yes, it's rare, but not as rare as graduating from Harvard, and it's definitely not just an Internet phenomenon. There are just a lot of areas where they don't feel welcome. They're real people in real life and they tend to congregate in places where they'll be treated as such. Right now that includes sections of the Internet, but also quite a few real life enclaves.

I agree with you, but Only a small subset of transgendered people want their pronouns to be they/their

Tumblr principally.

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