Just to entertain your strawman, here is an old zen tale:
>When Bodidharma, the legendary founder of Zen, came to China, a disciple came to him and said "I have no peace of mind. Please pacify my mind." And Bodhidharma said "Bring out your mind here before me and I'll pacify it." "Well," he said, "when I look for it, I can't find it." So Bodhidharma said "There, it's pacified."