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Comment by ams6110 | Hacker News Reader

he [Bezos] notes, when you disagree and commit, it's not about holding an "I-told-you-so" over other people's heads. It's a chance for people to hear an opposing point of view but to move ahead with action

I actually can't see it as anything other than a (potential) "I-told-you-so." Why are you specifically highlighting that you disagree, if you are then giving the go-ahead? You are the boss. If you approve something, ultimately it's your responsibility.

If you really trusted the person you would give them full authority on the decision without dropping your own agreement or disagreement into the mix.

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No, it works both ways. Ive personally been in the room where my VP and ~2 others favor product/feature A. The other ~6 people favor product/feature B. Everyone reports in to the VPs org. A round of discussion and it ends with "Ok, I dont understand/agree with points B.1 B.2 & B.3 but the room is clear. Lets move ahead with B, and make sure to follow up on answering those points early."

Much more commonly it's applied in the context of group decision making. Imagine Alice presents design Alpha for implementing a sprint story. Bob asks some pertinent questions, outlines an alternative, Bravo, and explains his reasoning. A round of discussion with Carol and Dan commences. Whether the group decides on Alph or Bravo doesnt really matter. Everyone has had the opportunity to ask, and answer, relevant questions. Everyone (hopefully) has greater context and understanding of the context, risks, and intended outcome. Everyone, including both Alice and Bob, is expected to stick with the decision and move forward with that single implementation.

When IC's play "I told you so" theyre poisoning team morale and disincentivizing others from speaking up. When managers resort to "just do it" they're fundamentally failing to communicate context the team lacks, or failing to understand the knowledge they're missing. Neither is an acceptable pattern.

PS: six years at amazon as an IC

I've been in a situation where the manager two levels above me vehemently disagreed. He allowed me to continue anyway.

It was never a situation where he wanted to hold it over me, rather it was something that should give you pause and cause you to consider if you are really correct. It also gave me a lot of respect for the manager - that he would trust me even though he was convinced it wouldn't work.

In the end it was a success - but had it failed I don't think it would have been held over me. If you don't ever experiment you'll die as an organization.

I agree 100% with this. The 'disagree' part should at least come with some form of strings attached. Something like 'we need to be able to pull the plug early with this', 'you start with a limited budget', or similar. Otherwise it's useless to mention the fact that you disagree.

You can trust that someone will make the decision and still think that they are doing it wrong. Voicing said disagreement doesn't mean that you deflect responsibility, it just means that you think that they could use the feedback.

Like this:

A: Hey B, could you look into problem P since you are the expert on this?

B: Sure, I think that we should do X.

A: Are you sure, I would go with Y.

B: I have considered Y and I think it is worse.

A: Then go ahead, you know this better than me.

Alternatively:

A: Hey B, could you look into problem P since you are the expert on this?

B: Sure, I think that we should do X.

A: Are you sure, I would go with Y.

B: I hadn't considered Y, thanks for bringing it up!

A: No problem, glad I could help.

The example he gave was about consensus, and when you want to stop fighting. No one else can actually force you to stop fighting and move on to commit.

You don't have to win or draw out every argument, and you don't have to be convinced of everything. Sometimes you just put a pin in it and go.

How does the leader give feedback in your model? Can the leader never chime in with some advice that might be helpful to the situation?

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