Some of us are lucky (educated, able to earn a reasonable income) that we can choose the rules we play by in life. I went to a top 20 global university and studied really hard because I thought I had to prove it to someone. Studying in a top uni like that didn't help in the end because I kept looking like an idiot next to people who are literally the smartest in the country (ex olympiad mathematicians etc.) Doing all of this I ended up fluctuating with weight a lot so I went to a gym and started lifting. I really enjoyed this and met more friends doing it, they were better at lifting than me but I was getting good results so I kept doing it. Losing a bit of weight got me more confidence so I started doing a public speaking course (toastmasters) and this confidence has helped me excel in my career a lot more than any MOOC I've studied, course I've done at uni or any project I've completed at work. I don't work at Google but I don't care because I don't surround myself with people who value that (a good phrase is you values are influenced by the 5 people you talk to the most.)

In short: I bet there is something that will make you feel better about yourself more than coding will, so you should try broaden your horizons.