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It's likely to have been run through an author obfuscation tool which mangles the language to avoid stylometry detection.

I hadn't thought of that. Interesting.

There's plenty of omitted articles (which is indicative of Slavic language speakers,) but at one point it devolves into a kind of caveman speak, so it's likely intentional.

Most likely an American trying to write in an Eastern European accent.

Yeah, it's so over the top that it reads like a native English speaker's intentional obfuscation.

I immediately thought of the "Opulence, I has it" commercials from DirecTV.

this. and probably an american that had not lived outside the US long enough to notice how over the top the effort comes off as.