NYC doesn't have a monopoly on bad commutes, but isolating yourself even more with an even longer commute doesn't solve culture mismatch issues. Besides, it's not a great lifestyle anyway.

If I live near my family on Long Island it would be a 2.5 hour commute to my job each way. If I live halfway between them and my job then I'm neither close to them nor my job. So living near my job is the least bad option, and that seems to be the option most people take.