> I still haven't accomplished anything that anyone but my wife knows about, and anyway these ideas I chase are very interesting but once I've figured it out, I am satisfied and don't share it with anyone, because I don't really give a shit about becoming known as a genius, if I even am (which I doubt seriously).

I propose to blog anonymously about those “interesting ideas” then. That way you can achieve something, but get none of the personal recognition you seem to want to avoid.

> Then, as a general rule, I start drinking if I have no obligations for the evening.

Please stop drinking alcohol regularly, especially when you feel depressed. It may make you feel good for a short while, but drinking alcohol regularly can result in liver failure, mental illness, and an increase in the risk of cancer, among other diseases.