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And was it men who made your daughter feel like computing wasn't socially acceptable? Or was it her female friends in the cheerleading squad?

Yes. And it was her, her ... calculus of status.

For another anecdata, when I grew up being into computers meant social rejection, from boys as well as girls. I still recall meeting women in nightclubs and when they ask what I do, I say programming, they shrink and look away. I learned to hide what I did for a living during initial encounters.

I solved that problem by getting married in my musician phase :)

Do people typically enter the field via an instructor/lessons?

You have me at a loss- I'd say there are certainly alternatives. If I had to guess, I'd say most go that way, but that's purely a guess.

Good point though - neither of them tried to self-learn in high school.