Lunatic conspiracy theories about what Google does with email abound. There are several likely and reasonable explanations for why you can't find the mails you expect. Two of the most likely being 1) the messages were never acknowledged with a 220 response from gmail's smtp protocol translators to begin with; 2) the messages were accepted but are still in flight for some reason. Gmail does not accept and then silently drop messages. If they are accepted, they will be delivered.

> Gmail DOES loose emails.

Sounds like a tagline for an erotic movie, that does.

I think you meant "lose".