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Comment by bigtunacan | Hacker News Reader

The whole article comes across as very defensive... here's all these examples of people seeing me as an asshole, but really I'm a nice guy. I try to relate, but it's not my fault I don't understand all of these people that are beneath me while I'm kicking it in my crib with my stone counter tops and $300 jeans. Oh I really love my wife and kid, but... I'm just so unfulfilled.

Brutal truth to the author after having read the article is that he probably does qualify as being an asshole.

As a slight counterpoint to that though, despite what everyone says it is okay to be an asshole up to a certain point. It is better to just own up to it though than to deny it. This is advice from a self admitted asshole.

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> Brutal truth to the author after having read the article is that he

Should probably figure out his own issues before giving advice to other people about how their experiences "will go".

(I'm sure some people can relate to the piece, but relating and getting good advice are two different things - if you're looking for the latter, ask someone who at minimum has a good grasp of where their problems truly stemmed from [likely because they're now seeing them after having solved them])

>When you roll up to someone’s house in a Tesla, how can they help but assume that you’re just a judgemental asshole?

This guy is projecting so hard he could be a movie theatre

>> When you roll up to someone’s house in a Tesla,

So why turn up to someones house in a Tesla if you feel that makes you into a jerkey showoff? Get an ordinary car.

Yes, he probably is an asshole. But at least he's self reflecting and attempting to modify his behaviour. That's a good first step.

And I continually hurt those around me — just by being myself-and it’s beyond heartbreaking. Somewhere along the way, money truly changed me for the worst.

Most assholes don't have that level of reflection so I'm not going to be too harsh

"Most assholes don't have that level of reflection"

Don't be so sure about that. I'm most certainly an asshole and I am extremely self aware. These two things are not mutually exclusive. Many of my closest friends are also assholes and they damn sure know it. Quite frankly that is in part why we are friends.

I agree the author is reflecting however most of his reflection is denial. If he wants to get anywhere then he needs to accept that he is an asshole. Only then can he either decide he wants to change or decide that he is ok with it.

>Most assholes don't have that level of reflection so I'm not going to be too harsh

I think that's what differentiates your run-of-the-mill asshole from a sociopath.

While the author doesn't do a great job at eliciting sympathy (if that was even his goal?), I can imagine the weeks/months/years after an exit can be tough on someone who has invested so much of their personal worth in a single entity. I think certain personality traits thrive in the start-up founder world, but the things that make those people succeed also leave them susceptible to massive emotional lows once the story is over and the dream is realized.

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