I love the way you write, very entertaining.
As a consumer, as long as there is one good self-service option I'm happy. When I'm in the car with two kids and need to get petrol, I'll drive the extra distance to pay at the pump rather than having to go into the store.
I don't think all companies need to go down this route. There's value in segmentation for those customers who can't or won't embrace technology. Take the recent OECD survey on computer skills [1]: only a third of people can complete medium-complexity tasks.