Digital is much more suited to time based effects. Analogue to harmonic distortion based effects.
You can keep your ADC/MCU/DAC distortion pedal. But if you are ever wondering why your guitar distortion sounds crap, this is it. But maybe you think it's fine. Anything sounds great with cotton-ears.
And tube amps only being for nostalgia? I wan't you to take your guitar, your digital distortion pedal and your digital amplifier and go to a rehearsal room with another guitarist who uses analogue distortion and a tube amp. Turn them both up loud. Jam together. Compare the tones. Compare the nature of how your amplifiers respond to your tone.
Sitting in your bedroom playing by yourself will never convince you of the short comings of your digital rig.
Shitty digital pedals from 20 years ago sound shitty, I agree!
Well modelled digital effects, however, can these days give you anything an analog pedal can. Most of the time, just run a high accuracy Spice model of the pedal in real time! Modern DSP is so cheap and fast that this is possible and works fine.
Lest you think I'm some kind of analog purist, I'm actually currently building a batch of pedals for sale that use an AVR MCU an its internal ADC to generate 3 different octaves of square wave output.
And yet smart engineers keep using Analog Devices SHARC DSP's for effects on audio interfaces.
So SOMETHING must not be quite as simple as your claim.
(The answer is that most of these guitar effects are VERY non-linear and simulating non-linear stuff digitally is very much NOT straightforward in real-time.)