It was tongue-in-cheek (see the smiley face), your critiques are all spot on, but there is one thing where it is objectively better:
Tortoise and hare can only detect that a cycle exists. This hack will tell you exactly which node the cycle starts on. That means that if you want to e.g. repair a list, you can just cut that last link and set it to either null or root. Granted, this wasn't the original problem.