Adults get up and go to work.
I do treat my employees like adults, but I expect them to act like adults. Like making a decision to join the rest of the team in the office for an agreed set amount of time.
Our official policy is it's up to the Manager. I prefer a team, and not just someone who produces code. So I prefer people to be in the office.
Children expect the world to revolve around them. Adults do not.
It seems like the sentiment is "you have to come to where _I_ am to do work, just like _I_ do", which smacks of wanting the world to revolve around you. Who has childish expectations in this scenario?
So any employee who sets boundaries for their employee's behavior, is being childish?
> "you have to come to where _I_ am to do work, just like _I_ do"
Should read
"you have to come where the _team_ is to do work, just like the _team_ does."
I support my folks needing to work remote, or weird hours to handle their stuff, because life doesn't stop between 9-5.
For me to do my job effectively, I want to get to know people as more than just their output. That happens by having lunch as a team, playing foosball, happy hours, going to movies, and so forth.
I'm not talking about value judgments in that I admit there are probably more toxic employee/employer relationships than toxic cult relationships. Toxic cult realtionships are more famous, brogrammers, literally drinking the kool aide, etc.
Just saying the number of people wanting a professional relationship is going to be a lot higher than people wanting a cult relationship, so you're going to have trouble building the best team when you're limiting the hiring pool to, well, basically friends.
Some tech companies have abused this mentality to make this feel like a cult relationship, but I see this as just like any non-tech company that has company sponsored soft-ball teams, bowling leagues, picnics, holiday parties etc.
I think I understand your sentiment, but I do believe if you were to speak to the people who work for me, they don't feel that it's a cult.
Google's research into management had a pretty strong point that managers who took interest in someone as more than an employee were more effective.
Then again, people in a cult, never say they're in a cult.
There's nothing I loathe more than a manager with a weak mindset.
The best thing for me is success of the company. If the manager isn't strong enough to do what it takes, then the company will suffer in the long run.