>"Scoring doesn't necessarily mean you give with expecting something in return, rather you're cognizant of your own contributions."
It means being conscious of your own contributions so you know what to expect in return. If you were just interested in what you contributed you wouldn't need to keep track of your past, seeing the opportunities in the here and now would be enough.
>"If you don't do any scoring, you can easily become complacent"
I'm struggling to think of an example I can give you that shows an alternative to your current view on relationships is possible. What I'm talking about is a subtle difference, but something I personally think is an important one. It's not so much about particular actions per se, but more about the motivations behind those actions.
This is the best example I could think of to share with you, I'd be interested in hearing your thoughts:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3vwe0OlKhM
>"Yes, both parties have a role in keeping the romance alive. I meant it as the "responsibility/duty" definition. It takes two to tango."
Perhaps it'll help if we look at what these roles are. What are the roles you're referring to?
>"Do parents not have roles in a family either?"
In the early years, parents have a role because their kids depend on them for guidance and survival. Once the kids reach adulthood the relationship can change into one closer to friendship. That's been my experience.
In a relationship with a partner, this is different. Both partners choose to be in the relationship. It's mainly about the chemistry between the two people, how they energise and comfort each other. However, this doesn't really feel like 'effort' in the sense of duty, or at least it doesn't have to. Consider the difference between play and work, both require effort, but they feel completely different. That's really what I'm trying to get across.